her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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