I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize