Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
