Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
