Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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