Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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