I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
