is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
