Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
