I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
