My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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