I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
