The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
