Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
my liver is dry heaving
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize