Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize