I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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