keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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