I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
