The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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