I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
