Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
COCAINE IS GR8
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