Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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