I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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