would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
handjob tips. give me some.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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