He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
