I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
