So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
