Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Success! We fucked roommates!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize