Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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