please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Nicole vs. Life
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
