it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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