If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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