So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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