Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
