weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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