And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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