Already got asked if we're dating
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
