girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I know her cup size but not her name....
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize