sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
