Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
