I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Randomize
