Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My vagina is very pro this idea
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
