i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
