you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
