Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
