I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
