if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
