I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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