if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
