no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
worst night to have a conscience
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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