You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
