Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
