I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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