That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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