They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
handjob tips. give me some.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
