Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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