Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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