it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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