You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
