matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
it was like eating out sand paper
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You've changed since you got that strap on
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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