I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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