i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
