i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
