remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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