you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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