is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
