getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
