I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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