Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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