she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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