u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
