it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
