Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
