can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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