Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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